The Dreams and the Deadlines

Hi...I’m working in an IT company now. From the outside, everything looks okay. I go to work, I have a salary, and I’m doing what people would call “settled.” But honestly? I don’t feel settled at all. Some days I wake up and wonder – is this it? Is this what I studied for? Is this the life I was waiting for all these years?

This feeling – of being stuck, of not knowing what to do next – it’s something I didn’t expect so early. I thought mid-life crisis happens when people are in their 30s or 40s. But here I am, in my 20s, already feeling it.

It’s not like i hated studying

I studied. I didn’t skip things. I attended college, did online classes during COVID, and finished what I had to do. It wasn’t always easy, but I did it. I followed the path that everyone says is “safe.” 

And now, I’m working. I’ve got what many people around me are still looking for – a job. But even with that, I feel empty sometimes. Like I’m just going through the motions.

Wake up. Log in. Meetings. Tasks. Log out. Sleep.

Repeat.

What we expected vs. what’s real

In college, we had dreams. We thought once we get a job, life would begin. But the truth is, many of us are stuck with jobs we’re not passionate about, in roles that don’t make us feel alive. Some days, we look at the screen and wonder what we’re even doing.

And it’s not just about the job. It’s about life. We imagined something else – freedom, happiness, purpose. But now we’re here, doing everything “right,” and still feeling lost.

It feels like I’m stuck. Like everyone else is running, and I’m just sitting, watching them go. The world outside wants something else. They ask for skills we were never taught. They ask for experience we never had.

The Mid-life crisis No one talks about

There’s this strange, heavy feeling inside. Like you’re not growing. Like time is passing but you’re stuck in one place. You scroll through social media and see people doing great things – starting businesses, moving abroad, living their dreams.

And you think, “Am I missing something?”

Even when everything looks okay on paper, inside your mind it’s chaos. You start questioning your choices:

• Should I be doing something else?

• Did I choose the wrong career?

• What if I’m wasting my time?

• Will I feel like this forever?

Nobody around you talks about this because we’ve all learned to smile and say, “I’m good.” But deep down, many of us are feeling the same confusion.

The Pressure to keep going

When you already have a job, people assume you’re happy. “What more do you need?” they ask. But just because you’re earning doesn’t mean you’re fulfilled.

You feel guilty for even complaining, because you know others are still struggling to get a job. But pain doesn’t always come from not having something – sometimes it comes from having it and still feeling incomplete.

You don’t want to quit. You don’t want to stay. You just want to feel something real again.

Mental health in silence

The worst part is, we keep all this inside. We don’t talk about it with family. In many Tamil households, mental health is still a taboo. If you say you’re feeling low, they say “Be positive” or “Don’t overthink.” 

But sometimes, it’s not overthinking. It’s real. And it doesn’t just go away with a motivational quote. You stop going out. You avoid people. You become quiet. And when no one notices, it hurts more.

COVID changed so much

COVID changed everything. We were all stuck inside our homes. No friends, no college campus, no real interaction. We attended classes on phones or laptops, but let’s be honest – did we really learn anything deeply?

After all that, we came out into a world where everyone is rushing, everyone is running, and no one has time to wait for us. The world has become fast, competitive, and sometimes – heartless.

So what do we do now?

I don’t have all the answers. I’m still figuring it out. But here are some small things that help me not feel completely lost:

• Talking to close friends – even just one person who understands.

• Taking breaks without guilt – rest is not laziness.

• Trying small new things – a new hobby, skill, or side project.

• Not comparing – everyone shows only the best parts of their life online.

• Reminding myself – it’s okay to feel this way.

You’re not alone in this

If you’re working in a job, doing your best, and still feeling empty – you’re not alone. There are so many of us walking around with smiles on the outside and heavy thoughts inside.

You’re not behind. You’re not wrong. You’re just in a phase where your heart is asking bigger questions – and that’s okay. This phase may feel confusing now, but it’s also the beginning of something new. A new way of thinking. A new kind of life. It’s not a crisis. It’s a turning point.

From me to you -

If you’re reading this and thinking, “This feels like me,” then I want to say something very simple: You're not crazy. You're not weak. You're not alone. You’re just growing in a world that never gave us time to pause. So take your time. Breathe. Do one thing at a time. And talk about how you feel – even if it’s just to yourself in a notebook. This isn’t the end of your story. It’s just the part where things start to change. 

                                                                          Loheswaran S