Understanding Relationships: Needs, Differences, and Happiness
Understanding Relationships- Needs, Differences, and Happiness
Well, I think the key idea here is their needs. People get involved in relationships to address their needs. We can look at these needs on four different levels: physical, psychological, social, and spiritual. First, we talk about physical needs, like being taken care of, providing food, shelter, and safety. These are things we all went through as babies. The relationships we had back then were critical to our survival, and we still depend on quite a few other people to provide us with what we need physically to survive.
The next thing is psychological or interpersonal needs, which refers to the need for security, attachment, affiliation, and intimacy. Then we have social needs, things like a sense of identity, social position, status, and access to resources and opportunities in our social world. Those are the needs. For some of us, not all, we're talking about needs at a higher level, like existential or spiritual needs. People talk about purpose, a sense of being, and a sense of union with the universe and cosmic forces. Those are other ways of looking at needs. We know human beings get involved in relationships because they need to address these needs.
So when I am thinking about myself, the first question is to find out what my needs are that I am trying to address through developing relationships with other people. And when I do that, I have to understand that not everyone understands my needs clearly. We need to understand that relationships are also important because they not only meet our needs but also help us define who we are. Through the journey to find the answer to the question, I found that 'we become who we are as a result of the relationships that we have.' As children, we got exposed to people who took care of us, like our parents, and they might tell us that we are smart, ugly, pretty, stupid, selfish, or have wonderful, nice characters. All this feedback we got from relationships fits into this sense of self that we now carry. So it is really important to look at how relationships are impacting 'who we think we are' and 'what we think we are.' Relationships are the key to our happiness, quality of life, and our sense of well-being.
The experience throughout my life points me in the direction that the quality of your relationship actually has a direct impact on our overall quality of life. Whatever we are thinking of in our quest for happiness has to be negotiated through building relationships with other people. We all pay a lot of attention to individual differences. Differences can be a challenge in relationships because when someone thinks differently, acts differently, believes in different things, looks at things differently, it can sometimes create a problem or a challenge.
So, how can people understand the value of difference? It is an important first step in understanding a relationship. Being able to deal with the difference is the key to the success of any relationship. We should appreciate and recognize differences and manage them effectively so that we will always be able to create a win-win situation that will lead to maximum need gratification for both the people involved. The balance between similarity and difference is a key factor in relationships. I think managing differences would be a very central part of any relationship because we know that human beings are all different. We are all unique, so we will always have differences. But one way to look at differences is to try to look at them positively. You do not necessarily have to look at differences as problems. Differences are actually a condition for growth and development. We should see them as a manifestation of biodiversity, and biodiversity is the very condition for human evolution and social development. So when we look at differences, we know that we can always find ways to manage them. I think human beings as a species would not get to where we are today if we didn't have the capacity to deal with differences.
For example, we have this couple who came from very different backgrounds; one partner comes from a privileged background, and the other partner basically was living in poverty during her childhood. One day, they share life together. They obviously have memories, expectations, preferences. One day, they have to make decisions on where to go on vacation, what hotel to stay in, where to go for dinner. That can create tension between them. Even though he was privileged, there were moments when he also felt frustrated and deprived, and those are the things that he shared with his partner and established an empathic connection. His wife also encourages him to make him understand that happiness is not always predicated on material resources. This could be an all-win scenario.
In summary, people get into relationships to fulfill their various needs like companionship, emotional support, and shared experiences. Differences between individuals are natural and should be seen positively as opportunities for growth. Successful relationships contribute significantly to our happiness and well-being. The story of a couple with diverse backgrounds shows that understanding and empathy can overcome challenges, emphasizing that true happiness goes beyond material wealth.
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